every cloud has a silver lining...watever that means...

Had already given hope on joy. Basically it was just back to work till the wee hours of the morning with nothing to look forward to. Came to work on a Saturday, chatted a bit, surfed a bit, popped in some LAN cables, and work was done. Being lifeless, I stayed in office. The next guy in shift came in and I casually asked him if he would switch off days with me so I could go to Langkawi.

It was just a casual question actually. But then he checked the schedule for a while and said yes. I blinked. I confirmed what I just heard and my heart rejoiced! I was elated, excited and ... watever word that can express happiness.

Went back home in a happy mood. Showered forever in that god damned toilet, and started to read a book in a relaxed mood. Tonight, I thought to myself, Im gonna sleep like a baby. Havent had a good night's sleep in a while. Life was finally turning to a better point. I started looking forward to the next day. Life seemed so beautiful now.

The power tripped.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Total darkness. I didnt dare go out of my room to check the power. Didnt have a torch. Even if I did, I wonder if I dared. Anyway, I didnt have a torch. The funny thing about this power trip, was that my air con was still running.

Tried to sleep. But in the complete silence of the night, it was hell. Everything sounded so detailed. The fucking fishes kept hitting the surface of the water, crickets chirping, vehicles moving outside and worse of all, the sound of my own breathing.

That was the worse night of my life.

 fucking fishes that wont keep quiet

Lousy offdays

Finally its back to the day shift. If only the previous shifts didnt wreck my sleeping cycle this badly. Could hardly sleep last night and im now feeling like puking. Funny, but I always have this feeling when I lack sleep. No idea why. Bad thing about not being able to sleep at night was I tend to spend unneccesarily. For two nights straight I dropped in at 7-eleven to buy junk food and add some additional fats to my already obese body.

Also had a bad movie week. Wonder why I even bother watching movies even when I know they are bad. This time it was Sound of Thunder and Zorro 2.

Sound of Thunder. Friends had been saying that it was not bad so I thought...I thought how bad could it be. Ended up feeling dumb watching the obviously fake blue screen effect and cursing over the plot. And the most pissing point of all, was that the main actress was some old aunty. Some really low budget movie.

As for Zorro 2, I guess I am no longer amused by his antics- the Z slashing, the last minute entry saves the day kind of thing, and bad guys who fires blank shots. The reason I watched the show was coz I thought I enjoyed the previous Zorro. I am not sure anymore. Could it be that I had a different perception of movies last time or this version just sucks. Maybe I should quit the cinemas already.

The only positive thing I could add about the two off days was I finished the anime Beck and I found it pretty good (or was I just bored). An anime which uses the most English ever. And not too bad english. I love the songs (or was it because I hear the same song over and over again for 26 episodes). Shit. I no longer know if I really like something or I am telling myself that I like something. Feels like life is just drifting away...without an objective or joy...

Sex museum

One of my colleagues started a yahoo group sharing pictures of nude AVs and gorgeous babes. The collection is nothing compared to Neo nor was it very special. However, this somehow caught my eye and I thought I would share it with you guys.

I dunno. I just felt funny when I saw these pictures. Kinda speechless about it.

 
 
 
 
 

the hospital

i woke up on the hospital bed...stared to the empty ceilings above and started thinking to myself about life. My mom was sitting beside me looking tired and anxious. I woke up slowly. Guess it was time my dad came out of the operating theatre. The hospital bed can be really comfortable when you are tired.

my dad's surgery went on fine. But wat suprised me or freaked me out was the way of the operation. To put it in layman terms, my dad had the surgery through his dick. Yea...through. They inserted the equiptments through the pee hole and did everything from there. No slicing or dicing in whatever sort. And the fucking thing was about 0.8cm in diameter. Imagine that thing going through ure dick~! Anyway, the surgery went on fine...

 
the fucking tumour and some cells.

Boring facts aside, I didnt know there were so many 'cun' nurses there! There were babes working in a hospital! AND they are in the uniform man!! THE UNIFORM~! Was fantasizing in the hospital...(Wild bear causing havoc in hospital shot dead! *insiders joke* )Okie okie im know im being a bastard, using my other head to think while my poor dad gets something through his other head.

 

 

Welcome to my home

Well, due to popular demand, this is my humble abode.

 
My faithful mattress, comforter and laptop.

 
Wonder what the hell caused this hole.

 
Water from the air con comes trickling down this spot.

 
Old habits die hard. Noticed that from last time, there will always be an aquarium in my room.

Okay. That was my room. I guess that wasnt that bad huh? Okay. Now lets get to the best parts of my house.

 
This 'fu' is used to seal something inside that room. They say it is a black skinny creature that stays in there. Haha Actually its my team leader.

 
This is where I bath. It was this bad when I got there and I keep telling myself to clean the freaking place up. So finally, other 2 housemates moved out, so im the only one using the toilet. So, now it is time to clean up.

 
Freaking hole in the toilet. This is where I imagine something looking at me from above. Oh, and I forgot to mention that there isnt any lights in the toilet.

 
I have never shitted on this thing. So far I was lucky I guess. No emergency so far yet. My colleague almost puked out his chicken rice when I was uploading this picture.

So, this is where i live. The house also comes with automatic door knocking when nobody else is home and also a good surround system of the wind howling down the corridor. What more can I ask for.

the world aint so bad after all...

Just finished supper with a friend and we headed back to office. I went up ahead and suddenly my friend called me saying that his tyre busted (see, car tyres gets punctured too!). I made a U-turn to help him out only to find a few villagers already helping him. Clad only in their sarung, they were already jacking the car up.

Basically they did everything. They jacked up the car, removed the tyre and fixed the tyre back. They did some small talk, asking where we were from and where to. I couldnt help thinking that this people just wanted some cash by helping us.

Ended up, when my friend offered them some money as gratitude, they refused to take even a cent. I was really really suprised. I guess it is hard to find honest and helpful strangers nowadays. In fact, I felt ashamed to have such thinking.

There are still good people out there...

24

As a song goes "You Win Some, You Lose Some, ...", the same applies in life. After switching shifts with a colleague, I won a full Saturday worth of fun but in an hours time, I would have already spent 24 hours in the office.

Somehow I managed to turn the office into my home. A make shift mattress made of firm sponges felt no different from a real mattress. My clothes, wet from the earlier rain, hangs around various places in the office, a hot mug of chocolate was always there to warm the body up in the freezing air con room, the sound of my favourite songs being played to kill the dreadful silence of the night. It almost felt like home. Maybe better thanks to the internet and phone. The only difference was not being to bath. Sad but true, I havent bath for the last 24 hours and I am pretty uncomfortable now.

Had been surfing around, played some Zelda, thrashed a colleague (someone in a different company but sharing the same office space) in KOF - muahaha really brings back memories, taking many naps and reading papers and stuff. My sleeping cycle is now in a total mess. I am really alert now when it is supposed to be my sleep time. Life feels pretty disorientated at the moment. Oh. Did I mention about work? There wasnt any work at all. For the last 24 hours, there was only one case. And that was during my colleague's shift. Wonder what is the reason for my existence here anyway.

The only thing I found out last night was that there is a siren for the network room in case a power failure occurs. The bloody thing woke me up. I slept with the lights on and suddenly the bloody siren started ringing. It was sooo loud that it could wake the dead and it flashed a spinning red light like those of a huge trailer. It took me a while to realize what was happening. Red lights spinning acroos the room, the sounds of the siren and the darkness really made me feel disorientated. Luckily there was someone else there who knows about the siren (it was his job actually to standby for such cases).

Urgh~! My head now feels like splitting. And I feel like puking. And it is Monday once more.

Formula 1

Never have I enjoyed this so called sport. I never enjoyed the race a single bit ever since secondary school. Classmates would gather and talk about how exciting the game was but this was one thing I never took interest in.

Just now a colleague asked me out for lunch and to watch the final F1 race of the season. I was hungry and bored so I followed. Had lunch and then the race started. There were a few other fans there discussing the race in pure excitement. I was bored. I counted down lap per lap. 56 extremely long laps. It felt like forever. For a moment, it felt like meditation and I almost attained nirvana. The other fans were full of emotions. One seemed pretty sad and expressed his disappointment when Michael Shumacher was forced to retire. I was thinking of how many times does a driver piss in his pants by the time the race is over.

I cannot describe my feelings when the race ended. It was pure joy that I felt. I will never watch F1 again.

my dad...

My dad just found out that he has a tumour in his bladder. The doc said that there is a 90% chance that it would be cancerous. Arranged to have a surgery this coming Thursday in Malacca. It feels funny when such things happen to your own family. You tend to wonder what did you do to deserve such a thing. Well, this is just the fucking human behaviour and mindset. You hear that your neighbour strikes a lottery and you wonder why wasnt it you. You dont go wondering why it didnt happen to you when your neighbour has cancer.

But then, I tend to take it openly. Luckily so did my dad. Still managed to joke about it. "It is already there. What can you do? Being sad wont make the fucking tumour go away!" That is, after all, the simple truth. People just have problem facing and accepting the truth.

Anyway, lets just hope for the best. Again...the word hope. Maybe I should start chosing a god.

Christian and Muslim God: Nah. Not here. You arent welcome. Read your two cents on religion thing.

Me: Arent you all ever forgiving?

Christian and Muslim God: It depends.

Me: All right! I ve been a bitch! Please?

Christian and Muslim God: Fuck off!

Me: Fine. I ll go find some other god. Maybe Jon.

Yesterday...

Was forever bitching about not having my weekends off. Just finished my midnight shift when my colleague came in and offered to change shifts leaving me with a full Saturday off day and the night to rest. Accepted it almost instantly. Then, I started thinking, what the fuck was I gonna do now that I have the off day. Ironic. I wanted a weekend off badly and now that I had my chance, I didnt know what to do.

Anyway, I was chatting with Michelle, my hometown friend, and I asked her out. Decided to call another hometown friend, Leon, out as well. God knows when these people started having Christian names. Had been calling them by their first names since young and now, out of no where, Christian names comes out. Still need time to adept to their demands.

We decided to go to One Utama to try out the newly opened branch of the famous Kluang Railway food stall. They say the toasted bread was heavenly but I always thought it was just toasted bread spread with lots of butter and kaya. How hard can making that get. Anyway, for old times sake, I was kind of eager too. So, we ordered a toasted bun each and the famous railway coffee. Business there was good. Full house in fact. Heard the rent for the place is RM31,000 monthly. But then with such traffic, what is 31k? The bread sucks ( okay, it wasnt that bad. Its just bread) and the coffee was just coffee (cant comment much on the taste). And the bill came up to RM15. Just 3 buns and 3 mugs of coffee. Felt like daylight robbery. RM5 in Kluang can make you puke bread all over the table. Okay...exaggerating again as usual.

Oh, and I drove my friend's Nissan Sunny out. Was considering to buy one recently and I was given the chance to test drive one. It was my first time driving a car without power steering and it felt like steering a log. But overall, it was pretty nice driving that old car and Im am seriously considering one now. Getting sick of back aches, the piercing rain and the scourching sun. And how could i forget, the fucking tyres.

After that we went to Chilis for lunch. Had a grilled lamb steak, a glass of bottomless tomato juice and a basket of bottomless chips. The lamb was grilled to perfection and I savoured it to the very last marrow of it. The mash potatoes gave a heavenly taste when it melts in the mouth and up till now, im still craving for it. For the tomato juice, I think I drank more juice than my bladder could support. The waiter was like going "Bitch! I know its bottomless, so stop trying so hard to reach the bottom!" Spent like 4 hours sipping the juice and munching on the chips. Had a good time chatting over good old days and long lost friends.

Then we went window shopping throughout the whole complex. I ve been there a couple of times actually, but till this day, Im still not sure of the place. It was just huge~! My thighs ached terribly and I walked like I had enlarged testicals. Guess this was due to the excessive masturbation to kill boredom.

Reached home and slept the moment my head touched the pillow. It was good to be alive.

On the wee hours of a Saturday morning...

I guess I finally got the hang of it. Starting to enjoy this midnight shift a bit.

Was searching for some KOF Roms to kill time when I came upon The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. Being curious of why it was so famous, I decided to give it a try. Ended up playing till near 5am. Haha It was pretty cute and the fight scenes are real time instead of the turn basis which I was expecting. Now I hope I get night shift till I finish the game. Wicked!

 

 

After that, was feeling a bit sleepy so I gathered some firm sponges and made a temporary mattress. Had a nice drink of hot chocolate and slept till 8am. Im making myself at home. Hahaha Next, I plan to get some alchohol and stuff. End up burning KLIA Cargo up.

Enjoying life but then wasting my youth here.

Bike starting

My colleague's bike had some problem starting.

Asked me to change to the highest gear and hold the pedal down while he pushed. The bike started to gather some speed and he asked me to release the gear pedal. To my suprise, the bike really did start. Didnt know about this trick.

my two cents on religion

Whenever someone asks me about my religion, i would pause for a while, then say "Buddhist, I guess."

Coming from a family background where my dad's side were all Buddhists and my mom's side were all Christians, it was a bit funny at times. My dad would feel silly whenever the family would join hands to say grace during a Christmas dinner. I was once a Christian. When I was young, my aunt approached me and started talking about God and stuff and somehow managed to convince me into accepting the Lord and Christianity. Started reading the bible, praying daily at night, feeling guilty after lying as the Lord was watching and stuff like that.

Now, I wouldnt clearly say that I am a Buddhist. Why? I know little about Buddhism. I know some history, death and rebirth, karma, nirvana, the middle path, the eight noble truth, triple gem and stuff like that. But then, if someone were to ask me what is Buddhism, I wouldnt know how to give a straight answer. I believe in death and rebirth. Does that make me a Buddhist? The Hindus believe in death and rebirth too. So, to avoid complications, I say I am a free thinker still in search for an answer.

The problem with religion, most of the times it is passed down through inheritence. A child would most probably follow their parents footsteps. Sometimes, you dont have a choice. In Malaysia, it is said that it is one's freedom to choose their religion. It doesnt really seem that way. Guess that is what Ayah Pin did and now he's on the run. So called freedom.

Religions like Christianity and Islam dont give you much of a choice. You dont believe in my lord, you go to hell. Sounds simple huh? All you have to do is believe and do good, and you'll earn your way to heaven. Just say you are a Muslim. You pray five times a day, undergo the pilgrimage to the holy land and had been good for the rest of your life. But when you die, you see the Christian Lord there instead of Allah. And vice versa. It is just like boarding a wrong bus and saying "Shit!" when you arrive at the wrong destination. Both religion states that their God is the true and only god. Which means, one side is definitely going to hell.

For me, I'll cross out Christianity and Islam from my list of choices. Life is short and it isnt enough to determine if you spend the rest of eternity in heaven or hell. The karma thing makes more sense to me. But somehow, I think that all religions are the same. They are guides for us humans to do good and also something for us humans to hold on to. Or it could also be a good marketing plan started thousands of years ago to sell bibles, qurans, robes and other religious merchandices.

Then again, who gives a shit of what I think. Wonder why i even wrote this entry. This midnight shift is starting to have its effect on me. Anyway, no offense to anyones' religion out there. Just the thoughts of a delusioned mind.

Im hearing things...

Was enjoying a quiet little evening watching some anime when it happened.

Now, i really wonder if it really happened. I was in a pretty relaxed state. Having some chips while watching anime. Suddenly, there was some knocking on my door. About 3-4 soft knocks. It was about 8pm, the usual time when my housemates come back after work. I said "Come in." and waited. Nothing. I went to check out only to find the place empty.

Im now in doubts. Just hope it was just my mind playing around with me.

Negaraku

I know that there are corruptions everywhere but I had no idea of what was happening behind the curtains.

Now that I know, it truly disgusts me.

http://corrupted-malaysia.blogspot.com/

Ignorance aint bliss. Might as well know before it hits u straight in the face.

...

Time seems to stop when you are all alone with nothing much to do. The last 5 hours seemed like forever. Opening my blog over and over again, finished up my daily reports, got tired of surfing. My eyes are heavy, my back aches, lips starting to crack and peel, throat feels dry despite the many glasses of water i had, and my head begins to spin.

It is really dead quiet over here. The only thing Im hearing now is my own breathing. Sometimes it gets too loud as though there is something/someone breathing down my neck. The water dispenser vibrates from time to time. Went to the toilet a few times. No signs of the 'person' whom they say cleans the toilet during the wee hours of the morning. The ceilings havent started shaking as what my colleague once experienced. And there havent been any weird phone call with no one on the other end.

Started digging through drawers out of boredom. Found a collection of vcds in one of them with pretty recent movies. Watched Tim Burton's Corpse Bride. Quality was pretty bad. And the show was pretty dark. It wasnt good nor bad. Well, I am now half awake so maybe I ll even forget I watched the show by tomorrow. Was using the same technique used in The Nightmare Before Christmas - claymation (if im not wrong).

 

 

old friend...

Met up with an old friend the other day. Its been some time since we actually met and hanged out. Well thinking about it, we havent really hanged out in years. There wasnt a decent hang out place back in Kluang. We could have finished walking the mall there in 5 minutes. Anyway, back to the present. Dont want to get all nostalgic and stuff.

Met her for dinner. It was 1830 hours. The jam there was freakingly insane. Her place to the designated place was just 5 minutes if the road was clear. Instead, it took her an hour. Hate that place when it jams up. We decided to try this porridge steamboat thing as it was something new to us. I was slightly disappointed as I thought that it would have been buffet style. Anyway, we ordered two sets of stuff which consisted of the normal steamboat stuff. The only difference was we had porridge instead of the normal soup and tomyam. It was quite nice I would say. If only there was more ingredients. The porridge turned out pretty nice in the end after boiling it with so many different ingredients.

After that, we headed to South City Plaza which was just opposite the makan shop. Decided to play some snooker. It was her first time playing snooker so I taught her a thing or two. Well, I suck in it but then it wasnt a problem teaching the fundamentals of snooker. We managed to clear the table in an hour and a half. Told you i suck.

It was good meeting her again. Talking about old times and the present. Its good to get back to childhood friends. Brings back a lot of memories.

Movie days...

Not that anyone cares but heck, i just feel like writing something. Must keep up the one or two lines movie review and stuff.

Had been going to the cinemas a lot lately. The only available form of entertainment for me so far. Shamelessly showing my student card and grinning there to look a bit more like a student...who cares! im a cheap skate. Cinemas on weekdays are empty. Had the biggest cinema with only 5 of us there. 2 couples and one big loser.

 

 

This time I watched Into The Blue and Flight plan. The blue show was boring. I catogorise it as some boob and ass show coz that was the only thing that kept me from leaving the cinema. Let me rephrase...it was Jesicca Alba's boob and ass that kept me from leaving the cinema.

 

Flight Plan was not bad. The only thing that bore me was that it revolved just inside that one plane. Kinda liked the twist at the end. Wasnt what I was expecting.

Midnight shift

Moving down the shift schedule, I would be doing the midnight shift starting now. Feels like my off days got cut off by a day because I start at midnight. Slept on and off during the day but Im now feeling extremely sleepy as my bio clock is now way off. Head extremely heavy, vision blurring in and out, heavy breathing and tasting the mee rebus i had for dinner in my mouth. I would have puked already if i wasnt holding back.

Wonder if i ll last the night.

This is going to be a long night.

The stuff i do

Some of the cases which I attend here really bites my nerves. Fucking stupid cases. And that is after going through the first level trouble shooting where they try diagnosing the problem through phone.

Case #1: States that the computer unable to boot into windows.
First level steps taken: Asked user to restart computer, check power cables, check monitor.
I reach there: to find the power plug not even plugged into the power. FUCK~!

Case #2: Mouse faulty.
First level steps taken: Asked user to check if the mouse cable is connected.
I reach there: to find the fucking mouse without a mouse ball. Found the mouse ball on the floor. Mother fucker!!!

Case #3: Unable to login to some application.
First level steps taken: Check connection, restart computer.
I reach there: only to find out that the fucker forgot his password. I ll shove a double barrel shotgun up his ass if i had one.

Those are some of the fucked up cases I attend to. Really pisses me off when I have to walk freaking far under the scourching sun!

Sayonara tubes

Found my fucked up tyre punctured again just now. Hardly a week since the last puncture incident and now its flat again. Fuck me, I told myself.

Luckily there are some friends in the department to drive me out to get some help. Loaned some tools from a mechanic and took the tyre to his shop. Changed to a tubeless tyre and burnt the old fucked up tube.

If the fucking thing punctures again, Im getting a car.

Football movies

Two of the last movies I watched happened to have something in common. American Football.


Remember The Titans
A touching and inspiring movie about how two races managed to unite together to be the strongest team ever.

 
The Longest Yard
About a bunch of jailbirds joining the football team to get back at the prison guards in a match. More of an action comedy which made me laugh a bit. Was worth the student price ticket (yea, I still use my student card).

blurness...

Now that I look back, I realised that I was in a pretty dazed state before this. Wasnt really aware of my actions and stuff. Distracted, blur, and dazed.

There was once when I told a user that it was freezing cold but I started fanning myself. Total contradiction. The user thought I was some nut case. I start being repetitive and slow. I ask people the same thing millions of times and I found it hard to catch what people are saying. Even my reaction became slow. Kept getting hit in the face by large bugs while on the bike.

It is amazing how the mood or mental state of the brain controls the human behaviour.

Sunday morning...

Alright. Im no longer complaining. Accepted the fact that this would be life for the rest of my living days. So I better accept it or go to hell.

"Get out of depression and start living!"

That statement got me thinking. What have I been doing this past 6 months besides complaining about how sucky life had been. I could carry on complaining forever if I wanted to. Guess its time to wake up and look at the beautiful part of life.

Working shift aint that bad after all I guess. Its like being paid to sip hot chocolate in a freezing room and surf, chat and blog.

gundam seed destiny...

Wonder why am I watching outdated stuff nowadays...and I used to tell myself that I hated Mecha.

Pool

Played a bit of pool the other day and somehow it brought joy to me whenever I pop a ball in. Might wanna relive the old days again. Just need to find some 'kaki'. 

Advent children

Its good to see our old lego characters back again in a total make over. Squaresoft still rocks!


The still depressed Cloud.


Almost forgot he was a nigga.


She has boobs! Thought she was flat all this while.


Total coolness!


The cute little thief.



My goddess...


New goons...

ITS A WEEKEND!!!!!

Working...really sucks on a weekend.

Stranded

Sometimes i wonder if i can somehow predict the future.

Was travelling back to Sepang when suddenly the puncture vision came to my mind. Sure enough, my tyre blew up minutes later. I was in the middle of the highway. Stranded. Started laughing to myself. I didnt have the slightest clue of wat to do.

Anyway, some PLUS ronda came along and offered to fix it for RM25. A cheap price to get u out of shit i would say. Found a tiny piece of metal stucked to my tyre. What were the odds. Guess im on my luck streak now.

life sucks...

life...its just a simple game to play if u look at those successful people. Guess Im currently playing this game the wrong way. The only bad thing about it is there is no reset or restart option. But then again, if there was such an option, would I go ahead and press it? Restarting over again...might end up worse and stuff.

Current emotional status:

Not sad, not happy, not bored, not contented. The feeling of being empty. It is terrible.

Haha just some random thoughts...

Maybe should try something new...like going to some whore house like Neo. Haha

adaptation...

One good thing about working shifts is you can hang on the phone and call anybody you want. Well, so far havent got any warning or anything, so I guess I ll continue hanging on the phone to pass the lonely times in office.

So, I decided to call Eve up to see how she was doing. She sounded pretty cheerful. It's been weeks since I last spoke to her. Felt kinda awkward speaking mandarin now as I havent been using that language for a while. She was doing good I guess. Then, i accidentally called her dear. Old habits die hard and it was pretty embarassing I would say. Haha but then luckily the line over there went distorted as though it was sensoring that word. Thank god.

Still have some adaptations to do to life.

One of the fishes we caught after work. Now i have 10 of those critters swimming around in my aquarium. Pretty ugly i would say. wonder why we got so excited when we caught them.

Testing testing...

 

 

 
Just thought I started putting pics to my blog. So the next few pics are non related pics which im just using for testing.