Happy New Year...

Another year has come to an end. Looking back, this whole year had really been a mess. Would the new year be a better one? Well, thats what everyone hopes for. That the coming year would be better than its last.

Writing this entry while counting down to the New Year. Another 3 hours and 38 minutes and I'll start writing dates with the wrong year again. I always make that mistake at least halfway through the year. This time, time doesnt matters anymore to me. Nor the date or age. I am no longer in a hurry. Ambitionless. No commitments. Nothing to look forward to after work or the weekends. I am just a drifter...

Resolutions...no point making them as they are meant to be broken. I dont remember a single resolution that was actually fulfilled.

Wonder what the new year has in store for me. Should I hope that it d be a better one? I tend to get disappointed when things just dont turn out after much anticipation. Maybe I should just anticipate the worse, so even if the year does get a little better, it would seem like it really has gotten a lot better.

Anyhow, wishing everyone out there a Happy New Year of a bitch.

Feeling alive

I would like to foremost thank my beloved colleague, Bob for giving me this opportunity. This bugger left so many pending cases in KLIA getronics history, that emergency action had to be taken. In other words, backup to clean up his shit. I was picked.

Worked till 1am. Slept in office, woke up bout 730 to wash up a bit. The office pantry is the place where I brush my teeth, wash my face, soap my self a bit and sponged myself clean. Im starting to feel like the Great Teacher Onizuka, where he turned the whole school to his own home. The only difference would be that Onizuka was surrounded by lots of high school chicks while I am surrounded by lots of old dicks. Chicks...dicks...didnt realise that they really rythme.

It was a pretty busy day. From early in the morning till late evening, I was there sweeping his shit. He came with me of course. Luckily I brought him on my bike, or I can bet my balls that he would have came back to office on his own. Anyway, handed him a few cases where he practically spent the whole day trying to solve it by his own and ending up not solving it. Fucking moron. I spent 5 minutes diagnosing a case which he took 2 hours on and achieved nothing. I wouldnt have been pissed if he asked for help or assistance, but no, he is Mr. Know It All and tried all he could for 2 hours. He could have just asked and we were more than willing to help. Hmmmm, let me rephrase that. We would not so willingly help if he asked but we would help.

Putting that aside, he is trying to talk to everyone with his quaky voice. He's trying to be friendly, thats fine. But then he doesnt realise that he's pissing people off. Urgh~! It was so embarassing walking around with him. Ended up sending him away to attend some cases. Rather work on my own than work with him.

If it wasnt enough, my handphone ran dead and I had to call a middle person to get him. Simple instructions, wait there and I will go there and find you. Walked freaking far, only to find him nowhere near the area. Called the middle person again, and asked her to call Bob and this time, asked him to find me. I was told later that Bob apparently told the middle person that he actually knew where I was. Telepathic huh. Didnt know we were that close.

However, besides all the complains, I really enjoyed myself today. I had tonnes of cases to attend to, thus meeting a lot of people and most of them still recognised me and were very warm and friendly. Sniff. After 3 months...they still recognised me. Had a lot of laughter with the users and finally, i feel that Im back on my feet again. I finally feel alive again.

Thanks and fuck you Bob.

Post Christmas events

Whatever I did in my last life, all the bad karma is already reflecting on my present life.

My zipper had to break on a nice quiet night. And in conjunction with my zipper breaking, there had to be some work in FMB (FLight Management Building) where the air stewardesses flock around. Somehow, there wont be any work when my zipper was fine or my zipper wont break when I dont have any work at all.

Luckily, everything went fine.

Went back to my office, hanged out a bit and went to the toilet for a quick pee. Came back, swapped the card, and the fucking door wont open again. This time, I tried breaking open the door. Wouldnt budge. Guess it really was certified by the Malaysian Bomba. Thank god I brought all my bellongings this time. Or else, I wouldnt know what I would have done.

Rode back to FMB and managed to sneak pass all the stewardesses without any of them shreaking and Im now blogging this in a warm and stuffy room without air con. My luck is just rotten if you ask me.

Moving on

Finally decided to move on in life. Tired of sleeping 20 hours a day (office hours and off office hours), tired of moaning on the same old topic of how depressing and dead life is, tired of having dreams but no initiative of achieving them. It is time to move on.

Wanna do something different. Something like Batik Corner which is something new to me but somewhat AMUSING to Lobak. Did that blog just for fun, just to show the pics to my aunt in Australia. I had fun snapping pictures of the batik (my thanks and apologies to Marve and his mom for wasting their time), arranging them, editing them a little on Photoshop, hosting the pictures online and seeing that the site actually amuses a minority group of people out there. Pointless but fun. Something different. Something unique. Just got a nice graphic pen and cant wait to start my graffiti hobby again. Remembering the good old days when I used to leave graffiti on every table I sat on during University.

Gave up my Puchong apartment, planning to sell or get rid of every stuff there, and move ahead. No more looking back. Gonna live like Im gonna die at 25 years of age.

PS - Im not smoking any weed while writing this entry.

Office of depression

My colleague, Ryan, started blogging again recently. He too, thought that he should write a welcoming entry for our new colleague. A bit tired of typing the word new colleague, so, lets just call him Nick Bob. Link to blog

After tonnes of complains, our boss finally got back from his annual leave and came down to pay him a visit. They had a little friendly chat in private and after that, some changes could be seen. Bet it wasnt just a friendly chit chat which he claims it is. Well, who would say "Oh, I just got fucked by my boss!". The talking style however, remained much the same to our annoyance. Anyway, this entry is not to bitch about Nick Bob, so, moving along...

Back to Ryan's blog. I've always thought that he was happy. Smiling and laughing always in office, he goes back to his family, has a beautiful gal, a pet labrador, a couple of arowanas, a Vios, etc., etc. What more can a guy ask for. Going through his blog, I found that its quite the contrary. Depression, anxiety, burnout. For a moment I thought I was reading my own blog. The only difference was that he seeked solace in office while for me, the office was my home.

So, basically KLIA IT Support team are a bunch of depressed guys (or a guy who makes other depressed).

...

I wrote more on Nick Bob compared to the depressed guys.

Damn. This entry was to bitch about Nick Bob after all.

 
 

Sunway Pyramid

Marve called Meiseen and me out for King Kong today. Met up at Sunway Pyramid for lunch at Secret Recipe. Meals had been really costly lately ranging from RM30 -RM70 a meal. Over indulgence I would say. The fact that these glorious food would eventually end up in the toilet bowl didnt really stop me from having meals which the tax itself is more than my regular meals. Sigh~! Spendthrift.

In the end, we decided not to watch King Kong over the idea of having a nice chat at Starbucks. But somehow, the gal seemed to be all hyped up and insisted on going shopping - alone. Damn, so much for an outing. So, Marve and I did some window shopping and we decided to check out the PSP. HE decided to check out the PSP. Bad mistake. I had been tempted before but put the idea off thinking that the screen was pretty small. But when I had it in my hands, I knew something was wrong. I had the very same feeling that ended with me owning my current digicam and handphone. Sigh. Damn high posibility of ending up broke again. Should have just watched King Kong.

 
Aint she lovely...

After that, we hanged out at Starbucks for a while before heading to the arcade. Malls can be so damn boring if you're not shopping. Played a few dumb games to kill time and then decided to depart. Had dinner at Manhattan Fish Market and that marked the end of the day.

Dead

I had the most pleasant dream yesterday afternoon. It was a happy vivid dream which I still remember clearly. I was laughing and smiling and ... I was happy. And then I woke up. Found myself lying on the floor on my make-shift mattress in the company storeroom which had been my napping/sleeping place during the day. And at that moment, I didnt want to wake up. I wanted to get back to my dream. It was really depressing to know that your dreams were actually happier than your actual life.

I felt dead. I've lost my mojo.

MJ The Backstabber

Always thought that backstabbing was bad and disrespectful. Little did I know that I would be holding the dagger myself.

Today was a pretty busy and dreadful day for my team leader. The new guy had been causing hell in the office. He fucking lies, he speaks arrogantly and he's fucking irresponsible. Never had I seen such a problematic chap. But then again, I’m now talking as if I have 10 years of job experience. Urgh~! Life is gonna be ugly.

I've tried talking to him a couple of times. After getting pissed over and over again, I finally noticed that he didn’t realize that he was pissing someone off. It was just the way he speaks. He tends to say "I know" as a normal person would use "I see". A pretty crucial swap I would say.

New guy: Hey, do you know how to get to zone D?
Me: Yea, it is in Core 3.
New guy: I know I know.
Me: (WHAT THE FUCK! WHY FUCKING ASK IF YOU ALREADY KNOW!)
New guy: Then which is floor 1M?
Me: It’s the highest floor.
New guy: I know I know.

If I haven’t decoded his speaking pattern, I would have puked all my guts on the office floor. Or is it as simple as that? While he was attending a case just now, a couple of us tried calling him offering to advice and help. But his response was always “I know, I know” which always ended up with us hanging up.

No wonder my team leader had been going to the temple a lot lately.

Oh, and I think he's using my shampoo.

Longest night of my life

I was there at sun rise. The gentle warm wind caressing my face. Rays of light piercing through the darkness. It was indeed a lovely sight. Too bad, I was all bitter and broken to enjoy such a sight.

It all started when I went out for a pee. When I went back to the office, I swiped my card and waited. Nothing happened. I swiped for at least another hour and nothing happened. I was locked out. My handphone, keys, shoes, basically everything was still inside. I gave out a sigh and said "Fuck me."

Went to the security, hoping that they had a solution to access the door. They didnt. They were in fact snoring all the way there and I had to wake them up. And they couldnt do anything to help me. Wonder what was their purpose there. Sigh. Fuck them.

Called up the 2nd Level guy who shared the same office and was supposed to be on duty at that time. The 2nd level guys have a key to the office and they had to be stationed there 24-7. But most of the time, they werent even there. So much for being paid higher and having higher responsibility. I asked the guy for help (I repeat, he was supposed to be in office at that time) and he asked me back a question which obviously shows his reluctance to help. He self declared standy at home. Useless old fucks. I was pretty pissed at this time. Fuck him. Fuck everyone.

There was nothing I could do. I sat down and waited and waited and waited. Hour after hour passed and soon 5 hours passed. I was stoned, irritated and boiling at that time. Its the worst punishment I could ever get. It felt as if I was serving a life sentence. The 2nd Level guy who was supposed to come in at 7am didnt even appear by 830am.

Some case came up and I was unable to attend it. My team leader thought I was slacking around and screwed me a little.

What a lousy day.

Fuck life.

Books

Haven’t been much of a reader. Guess the drastic change of lifestyle forced me to a corner -to pick up a book. Let me try to recall the books I actually finished reading (most I finished after graduation).

- Orchid (a biography on the earlier days of the Empress Dowager).
- Rich Dad Poor Dad.
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
- Some Hustler e-books that I got from Neo.

And being a cheapskate, I’ve always thought that books were expensive and not worth my money. Yea, all the books listed above are borrowed. And as you can see from the list, I am more into kid’s books (except for the Hustler series of course). Well, being a simple guy, I am into books that are simple and easy to understand.

As far as I can recall, I have only bought two books in my life. I bought the whole set of LOTR novels and a John Grisham book titled The Broker. For the LOTR novels, I got them while I was still hyped up about the movie and the game. One of my bad habits where I always tend to be rubbish collector. Didn’t finish a single novel as the English was complicated and I haven’t developed the reading habit at that time. Now they are somewhere collecting dust in some storeroom.

The Broker is a new book that I bought a couple of weeks ago. Dropped by a Popular book store, picked a random book which attracted me and paid for it. Took me 3 weeks and a couple of hours to finish it. The first ¾ of the book was extremely slow, draggy and boring and I took 3 weeks to get pass it. The other ¼ was the climax of the book and I finished it in a while. Overall, The Broker made me broker by 30 bucks. Crappy book. Perhaps I should just stick to comics and mangas.

Another pointless entry.

Chronicles Of Kanina

Okay...okay...the movie wasnt as bad as the title given.

Meiseen finally called me out as a last resort as her friend cancelled out her plans. Now I know how it feels to be leftovers. Sigh~! Sob~! Anyway, being ever so bored and lifeless, any invitation (including one to hell) was too tempting to reject. Wait...or was I the one who asked her out...Anyway,moving on...

We agreed to meet at Midvalley. Being a gentleman and not wanting to be late, I arrived there an hour earlier. God knew that Meiseen was gonna be two hours late and He didnt tell me. So, I ended up waiting for like 3 torturous hours. 3 hours...lemme try to recall what I did during the period where I tried to stay sane.

I decided to get the tickets for Narnia. And as you know, the cinemas in Midvalley are always filled to the brim, all the way to the back. I started queueing up from the very back of the ever so huge hall. Felt as if I was a part of the Great Wall of China. Took me an hour to get to the front. And at the front, I noticed people trying to get people who had been in line the whole day to buy tickets for them. I was irritated at the sight of them.

Battle in my head:

Stranger: Excuse me sir. Can you help me get tickets?
Me: Fuck off. It wont be fair to every god damned person here who was in line for hours and now you just cut in and think you're smart? GET BACK TO THE LINE AND BE AT LEAST ETHICAL!!!!!

What Really Happened:

Stranger: Excuse me sir. Can you please get me 2 tickets for ..
Me: F~..
Stranger: ..Narnia. I will give you 5 bucks for it.
Me: Sure.

I am such a low life. I am so cheap. Sniff.

Got the tickets and spent a while looking around before I got bored. For the first time, I really regretted not bringing my camera. The whole midvalley was so nicely set up that I began to hum a Christmas tune. Went to MPH and managed to finish reading a whole book when the gal finally arrived.

We went directly to Chilis. Havent had a single bite the whole day and I couldnt feel my stomach anymore. Had the usual lamb which still tastes so good till today. Wanted to try out the other stuff badly but the temptation of the lamb was just overwhealming. After embarassing Meiseen and pissing the waitress off by drinking 7 cups of fruit juice, it was time for the show. I drank so much tomato juice that for a moment, I thought I saw my urine red.

Narnia...it was not bad. It was much better than Harry Potter I would say. The animation and cg was pretty good. Well, it was a kid's show, so hell, I lowered my expectations and it turned up pretty good. In fact it was pretty funny when I blended it up with my imagination. Pissed the guy sitting next to me by laughing to myself. Would like to stress again that it was a kid's show.

Oh. And Meiseen bought the book after the movie. Kiddo.

That was all for the day and I was exhausted after that. Bad news was...work started at midnight for me. And some case turned up and I just finished fixing it (transferring the case actually) and Im now blogging this on some user's PC. Could really do with some sleep.

Urgh~! Back to hell.

Food binging

Whenever I look at my reflection in the mirror, I see a can of luncheon meat staring back at me. Everyday, I would tell myself, cut down portions of food, eat healthy food, excercise regularly. Well, its been ages since I ve started the daily motivation thing but as always, it was purely just talk.

Well, I didnt manage to fulfill any of the resolution above, but at least I managed to have a constant portion of meal. Up till last night. I guess I lost it. Being lifeless for so long, food was my only solace. I was screaming inside all this while and I had to take it out on something. And of all things to take it out on, I took it out food. Shit! Bad choice of medium. Had a plate of mix vegetables rice, a bowl of loh-mee, and 4 pieces of KFC chicken, plus other small stuff (wedges, colslaw...). Mengamuk I tell you. Haha

And as always, I would regret after my actions. Always the same regret for a guy who lives by the saying "Follow your heart!". Had the worse night of my life. Couldnt sleep soundly, and ended up with a back pain. Guess all the food clogged up my spine or something.

Urgh...

Sob sob...

My new colleague

I would like to welcome my new colleague who just joined our work force very recently. At least not with open arms.

Well, what can I say...attitude problem I dare say. Watching porn openly on the 2nd day of work, uploaded porn pics to the server and shared it with the whole world, downloading tonnes of images of gals from friendster (some super stalker! Gals...its not really a good idea putting up ure cute or pretty little pics up in friendster. True, it gets you more friends maybe, but you also get perverts like this. Imagine these perverts masturbating to your pictures...alright...i think you get the point!), downloading MTVs, and installing all his softwares on the PCs here. And I repeat, all this on his second day of work.

Another problem would be his damn talking habit. This fuck doesnt know how to talk civilizedly. Felt like puking my guts out while chatting with him. Out of good will, I brought him to familiarise with the work place. As I was telling him about the place, he would usually reply "I can see that!". My heart itched so badly to sink my foot into his croutch.

I despise him.

And there are a few colleagues who have mutual feelings with me. I know its unethical to back stab a person like this, but I had been bottling up a lot of anger lately. What comes in must come out. Besides, i could have done worse by hosting his picture, and revealing his full name and IC number.

To any of my colleagues reading this, pandai pandai lar.

The art of bullshitting

A lie is a statement made by someone who believes or suspects it to be false, in the expectation that the hearers may believe it. Thus a true statement may be a lie if the speaker thinks it is false. Fictions, though false, are not lies. Depending on definitions, a lie can be a genuine falsehood or a selective truth, a lie by omission, or even the truth if the intention is to deceive or to cause an action not in the listener's interests. To lie is to tell a lie. ...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie

Everyone lies. Be it a white lie, black lie or for whatever reason it is, everyone lies. I'd prefer to call it bullshit. Everyone bullshits. When I was young, I used to bull my way around in order to avoid getting thrashed by my mom. Of course, being inexperienced, I ended up getting thrashed throughout my primary days. Bullshitting is regardless of age and race.

Anyone can bullshit. It is the art of bullshitting convincingly which is hard. Get that a lot at my working environment. I mean bullshitting which are 0% convincing. It can be pretty irritating at times when a person try to bullshit and he aint even convincing enough. I would rather have a simple answer, perhaps more direct to the point. And most of the time, you get a lot of bullshit when you are asking for a favour -big or small. Guess I sound like I am writing all this because I got turned down when asking for a favour. Nah, I just got a bit pissed at all the unconvincing bullshit happening around. Imagine standing in front of a bull and watch it shit right there in front of you. Not a lovely sight.

My point here is, if you want to bullshit, at least make it convincing. Do not end up making a fool of yourself and pissing the one you are talking to.

...

Alright! Alright! I was pissed off...

Public Server

Over here, we have this computer where we store installers, drivers, patches and utilities which we share out to make life easier. We attend cases outside and just access our storage computer remotely for any software. However, that com shares more than just softwares needed for work purposes. As you can understand, life here can get pretty dead, lonely, boring, you get the idea, so that com also shares any possible shit available - porn, movies, dramas, mangas, animes, mp3s, the list goes on. Almost the whole com is shared. Even the desktop. God knows why.

AND a lot of outside users are accessing our little entertainment portal here. Well, guys whom we've fixed their com before. Somehow, Im not really sure how, but somehow they can just enjoying themselves out there somewhere while my com (yea, I use the hosting com) is being lagged down too hell. SO, I ve developed a new hobby in conjunction with outsiders accessing 'my' com. Well, its not really amusing but being bored and practically spending LOTS of unauthorized over times in the office, I find joy in killing their sessions. They will be persistent and keep wondering and trying repeatedly to access our media but I have all the time in the world. Terminating their sessions while cracking eggs in Dynamite.

I need a life.

Dota streak

Went over to Cyberjaya the other day to hang out. Out of boredom, I started playing Warcraft DOTA over Battlenet. Had been playing a lot with AI recently, but playing on Battlenet, was a whole different league.

Used my junior's account - Kenshinkyo who was quite a pro and well known player but by dawn, 'he' was more famous than he could ever have been - as the legendary newbie or what they call feeder in the game. It was quite depressing playing DOTA with those pro players. They slaughter you like a chicken and if you screw up, your team members would be like cursing and swearing on you as if their future depended on the cash money of the tournament. Bunch of fucks. Spoiled the beauty of the game.

However, it was so much more fun playing over the net compared to playing with the dumb AI during office hours. Must get an account and try if I can play it from office. Getting closer to realising the dream job.

Flu season

Seems like everyone in the office is following the latest trend of getting the flu. Urgh. What an unpleasant season. Coughing and sneezing would be in thing where almost everyone can be seen with dripping noses and cough drops.

For me, this time, I guess I ve reached a higher level of flu. Was doing the usual blowing of the nose, only that this time I blew my brains out and became deaf in one ear. Started to panic as I could hardly hear anything in one ear. Damn it~! Seemed to have lost my balance a bit nowadays. Only felt better after a few people said that it was normal and they were experiencing it as well.

Then today I started coughing my lungs out. Uncontrollable cough for long hours and thought I tasted a slight dash of blood. Urgh~! Raw!

Guess its time to see the doctor...too young to die...too many unfulfilled wishes...too many worldly desires...

Drunken Stupor

This is starting to get too frequent.

Drinking that is. This is the 3rd time Ive gotten all drunk and nauseous from drinking too much. Luckily, this time I didnt puke all my guts out. Almost, but luckily I didnt. This time Weird Winghon had the honour of puking everything out. I wonder if he was gonna puke actually. But thanks to the immediate reaction from Lobak, who pulled a plastic bag over his face, and Munis who wrapped the plastic bag even further over his head, the poor guy started puking everything out. And at that bloody moment, i was chewing on some chicken which tasted like paper. With someone puking right in front of me, it was almost impossible to control myself. My puke raised all the way up to my throat and I spat out the chewed chicken somewhere. Had a drink of warm water and laid down to rest for a while. After 5 minutes, I managed to push all the puke back to my stomach. I ve had enough of puking. Thank god this time I didnt.

Well, we were having the gathering of close pals at Kiwi's place in Ampang. Its been a while since we've all gathered like that. Had the usual barbeque and laughed all night under the influence of VSOP and Chivas. It's been a while and god knows when the next gathering would be.

It was great meeting the old guys again after a while. Really brings back the laughter, the good old feeling of being alive and the future doesnt look all cloudy and rainy after all.

Its good to be alive.